The Trefoil Muse

I have reached a plateau. It has been an uphill battle to get to this spot.  The journey has been fraught with chaos and malicious energy.  I am exhausted and need rest. I survey my surroundings and notice that this is not actually a resting spot.  It is a cross road.  I can choose from four directions.  I can veer left or right, go back the direction I came from or continue uphill.  Surely, the path upward looks to be more work.  Both paths which veer left or right seem to be level.  But neither of those paths interests me. I know from experience those paths are diversions. Personal success takes longer to achieve when you walk along the path of others. I am independent. I want to discover my own path.  My path is always harder.  I prefer to travel unknown, uncharted paths – those seldom traveled. So, I know that from the four directions my choice path is the one which continues uphill. 

Energy swirls about me pulling to and fro.  Malicious. Chaotic.  Instinct tells me that this is the energy one faces when they are about to self-sabotage or are being set up to fail but strive forward in order succeed instead.

I sway first left, then right but the frantic, hostile energy that wants me falter and tumble backwards is vehement.  The resistance from the heinous darkness pushes back and forth against me causing friction. 

It is unwanted energy and it is rubbing me the wrong way.

Sparks are beginning to erupt.  Patiently, I smother them but really, time is not on my side.  I have limited resources; constraints prevent me from effectively battling the unwanted friction and the continual onslaught of unwelcomed energy is beginning to mess with my mind. This maliciousness is presenting as a head game. I want to explode.  My sanity is waning. I can feel the heat within me building.  The sparks are beginning to smoulder into a fire – the fire is rage. 

I decide to stand quietly at the plateau of the crossroad and breathe.

Breath work is a subtle technique that can be used to bring abhorrent friction into a more malleable static energy. Static energy is still charged.  It isn’t energy I like; but, static energy can be endured and will remain unchanged or even dissipate as long as no extra friction is introduced.  Subtle techniques to quiet friction are not always successful.

I am being battered. This heinous, dark energy seems to be taking advantage of the subtle energy – it’s growing harsher – biting at my psyche.  It is affecting my ability to think clearly.

No matter, I am a Master there are other methods I can employ to quiet the friction.  But, my methods are all subtle and rather than quieting the chaotic energy, extra friction charges the atmosphere around and within me.  The harassing energy has entered my very core – goading, irritating and threatening to infect me with its disease like qualities. An inner war has been declared and I struggle against this dark force which wants me to cause harm or even drive me to kill. Lesser adversaries have succumbed to these malicious energy sources. They’ve gone mad, driven to insanity by the barrage of negativity that infects their mind.

I summon my inner strength in preparation for the fight. I must maintain my clarity of thought.

The malevolent taunting, jeering energy pokes dirty fingers into my brain as it stirs and beats at my sanity twisting rational thoughts into mayhem.  I am being attached from three different directions.  My patience is spent.  I am wearing down, becoming exhausted.  My mental and emotional stability continues until completely fatigued, my resolution of peace dissolves.

Frustration and anxiety are wholly apparent. I am now realizing my inability to control that, which cannot be controlled – every action is begging for a reaction. 

True, I am undergoing an inner battle. I have an acute awareness of this. However, inner-battles will grow until they burst outward. 

It’s, fight or flight time. My nerves are raw.  My jaws are clenched.  Tension runs up my backbone.  My hands are clenched into fists.  I have settled into a battle stance and ready to move if one more irritant attacks.

I know what I want and, it’s not this!

I cannot take being rubbed the wrong way any longer; the friction attacking my inner boundary is unbearable. Fiery rage leaps upward as I burst into heated flames.  I manage to control the fire.  It was merely a short burst of intense heat meant to cremate noxious emotional energy. Nothing has been severely damaged although there is a blackened mark where I once stood at the crossroads. The outburst left but a small blister on the face of the earth, a scar which would heal by encouraging new growth. And, by undertaking the difficult task of expelling negative energy, I have now been propelled forward on my path uphill.  The action was necessary for positive development to occur.

Still, I am shaky and exhausted.  I did not want to erupt into fire. The war against malicious energy drained me mentally, physically and emotionally.  But, I gained ground as a result and successfully stepped onto my own path. This is a path of the unknown. It is uncharted territory, this path that proceeds at a steady, gentle, uphill grade and is one where if the traveler is mindful, they will meet success by taking positive strides forward. 

I survey the path ahead with tired eyes.  I can see the first marker to my success is only a few feet away.  I move my feet forward slowly, one by one, it is a methodical shuffling movement – no need to hurray now.  I give myself permission to move slowly and conserve my energy until I reach the marker.  My reward is a well deserved rest.  I need to unplug for a time before continuing on.

Change takes time. 

Healing takes time.

I arrive at the marker and take a seat.  This is the most comfortable spot I have discovered in a very long time.  I feel protected here.  As I sit relaxed, I notice how as the world rolls by, I am no longer affected by its friction.   I am grateful for this time to rest; even the most masterful of Guru’s need a brain-break to recuperate from mental chaos.

Stress is exhausting.

Give yourself permission to take a rest.

Unplug.

Chaos and friction in life will always be present. 

There will be times in life when you are rubbed the wrong way and will need to address friction.  Remember, subtly does not always successfully diffuse friction.  In those cases, be tactful; use control; take the higher road – you will save someone from heartache by doing so, even if that someone is you.

Take small steps forward.

If all else fails, simply take a brain-break!

Thank-you for following, reading, sharing and commenting – The Trefoil Muse