The Trefoil Muse

Barbed wire fences are boundaries used to stop others from trespassing or encroaching on our space.  They are like the personal boundaries we use to help to enhance our lives or define our worth. Boundaries set limits – dividing lines or rules we set for ourselves within relationships.

Healthy boundaries allow us to say, “No,” to others when needed.  At times, it takes inner strength and courage to enforce or defend one’s boundaries against the barbs of another. Healthy boundaries allow comfortable conversations within close relationships and enable us to communicate when others are teetering on the line or crossing boundaries which make us feel uncomfortable.

Only you can determine where the fine line of your boundary is. To set your boundaries or guidelines, find your personal balance.  (What will you allow into your life and what causes you discomfort?)  These guidelines will bring you a sense of peace. Boundaries help us define our personal safe space and warn us of imminent danger. When we are aware of our own boundaries, and are intimately familiar with them, we can then share by guiding others in we expect from them or what we can tolerate.  When necessary we can then issue steadfast reminders or warnings when confronted with those types of intolerable behaviors which infringe on our inner peace.

When confronted with intolerable behavior, communicate where your boundaries lie; be calm, firm and clear about what you need.  Clear and reasonable consequences need to be relayed to the trespasser.

If you continually encroach on set boundaries breaking another’s trust, there may be no way to mend fences.  You may in fact risk being ejected from that person’s life. Try to be kind, not cruel.

“Boundaries are not binding or controlling the actions of another. They are stating that if said actions continue, I will not be in your life.”  J. Mike Fields

Be respectful of others.

Think about your boundaries. Treat others the way you yourself would like to be treated.  Kindness matters.

Remember, you are important. Honor your boundaries. Be kind to yourself but be kind to others as well.

Thank-you for following, reading, sharing and commenting – The Trefoil Muse